2012 King of the Hill: Spooky October

The Mostly Spooky Entry
October is the month when all of the horror stories arrive in movie theaters.  To sort of fit the theme, I've been dedicated this month to catch up on some horror stories.  I've managed to make my way through three-and-a-half so far.  Of course, just because I'm dedicated to horror films and the like, doesn't mean that I'm going to exclude other genres from the month.  Hopefully that will help explain the oddball in today's review.

For those who do not know, the 2012 King of the Hill Movie Challenge is my system for determining the best movie of year that I saw. One movie from each month will be selected and, at the end of the year, I will do a tournament style showdown where they will take each other on until the final movie has been selected. Bracket placement will be determined by the number of movies the monthly movie faced and won.

The Girl Next Door (2007) v Paranormal Activity
Holy fuck!  This movie is one of the most messed up things I have ever seen.  The story is centered on the neighbor of a older woman with a family of boys.  Two young girls move into the neighbor's home as their aunt is the only living relative.  David Moran (Daniel Manache) takes a liking to the girl, but quickly discovers that her life is not going well.  The movie is a human torture porn fest as the girl is put through some of the most disturbing acts of human cruelty possible.  When this movie had finally ended, I was left feeling hating all humanity.

First off, I'm not spoiling this for people.  If you've seen it, you'll recognize that there are a few "mistakes" in my review.  It's the easiest way to review the movie without spoiling it.  Paranormal Activity is a found camera footage film about a strange entity that haunts the home.  Found Footage is a movie recording method that is very, very difficult to pull off.  You have to be able to tell a story with either limiting it to logical reasons to have a camera present, or find ways to safely work the camera to critical scenes without destroying the viewer's disbelief.  For me, Paranormal Activity didn't do the best job with this.  The fact that the husband in the movie is a douchebag makes it easier to explain why he would take cameras with him while fighting with his wife.  However, this was not sufficient enough for every scene in the film.  One of the biggest credits I can give the movie is tension.  The movie starts slowly and begins to increase the tension more and more until the very end of the film when all hell is breaking loose.

It's a difficult call, but I'm awarding the victory to Paranormal Activity.  I can forgive the suspension of disbelief.  What I can't do is look past one particular act of torture in The Girl Next Door.  It wasn't horror, it was disturbing.

Winner:  Paranormal Activity

Paranormal Activity v Paranormal Activity 2
Paranormal Activity 2 takes place parallel to Paranormal Activity in timeline.  The movie departs from Paranormal Activity in several ways.  The tension is not a slow rise like the first film.  You will encounter more supernatural events as the movie progresses.  It is hard to get into this movie and what makes it great without spoiling this or the previous movie.  Suffice it to say, the reasons for the cameras in this film seem more natural.  And while I don't agree with the behaviors of the people in the film at all times (I would have moved out very quickly into the process), the movie is very entertaining.  I found the second film much more satisfying than the first.

Winner:  Paranormal Activity 2

Paranormal Activity 2 v The King and I
The King and I is not a horror film.  It is the only movie this month that I watched that didn't have horrific elements to it.  The King and I is a movie based on the musical of the same name.  It is about the King of Siam, Mongkut, who asks for a British lady to be the governess to help raise his children.  Anna, is the lady that is sent to raise these children.  The King and I is an interesting story that goes into the clash of two very different cultures.  It is filled with lots of vibrant colors, beautiful images, and wonderful music.  I really enjoyed watching the film.

Does Paranormal Activity 2 measure up to The King and I?  Yes and no.  The King and I is a phenomenal movie and it deserves to be seen for what it is.  However, it is not a movie that should be compared to Paranormal Activity 2.  One is a found footage horror flick and the other is a musical about a historical event that may or may not be accurate.  So, on an account of my theme for the month, I'm forced to rule in favor of Paranormal Activity 2.

Paranormal Activity 2 v The House of a 1000 Corpses
The House of a 1000 Corpses is a horror film that I have heard a lot about.  I've been told it is one of the scariest movies ever made.  I've watched it and I didn't find it that scary.  Don't get me wrong, the Rod Zombie film is worthy of the attention of horror fans.  The movie has some pretty fucked up moments and it is a horror film.  It is disturbing.  It is demented.  It wasn't scary to me.  Why?  Because I couldn't connect with any of the characters in the film.  Without my ability to connect to the characters, I couldn't feel the horror they were experiencing.

Winner:  Paranormal Activity 2

2012 King of the Hill Movie Challenge

Drive v Tucker and Dale vs. Evil
This isn't a 1v1v1.  This is two movies going head to head, one of which has "vs." in the title.  One movie is a dark action flick that bested a classic.  The other is a dark comedy that both makes fun of and pays homage to common horror tropes.  However, only one of these movies can survive the 2012 King of the Hill Movie Challenge.

For those who do not know, the 2012 King of the Hill Movie Challenge is my system for determining the best movie of year that I saw. One movie from each month will be selected and, at the end of the year, I will do a tournament style showdown where they will take each other on until the final movie has been selected. Bracket placement will be determined by the number of movies the monthly movie faced and won.

Challenger:  Tucker and Dale vs. Evil

Director: Eli Tucker

Writers: Eli Tucker and Eli Jurgenson

Starring: Tyler Labine, Alan Tudyk, and Katrina Bowden

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil is a difficult movie to box in and explain.  The movie is about two red necks on vacation.  The movie is about a group of kids out partying.  The movie is about the ridiculous tropes of horror flicks.  The movie is all of these things rolled into one.  Tucker (Alan Tudyk) and Dale (Tyler Labine) are just trying to have a nice relaxing time in the woods when a group of kids mistake them as killers.  This mistake comes from when Dale rescues Alison (Katrina Bowden) from drowning.  The kids think they have killed Alison and everything goes downhill fast.

The movie pays homage to several movies.  Honestly, I couldn't tell you half of them; I'm not a big horror fan.  The cliches addressed in the movie are what make it for me.  It covers everything from creepy cops, to red neck stereo types, to evil pit bulls.  Honestly, there wasn't a cliche I could think of that the movie didn't tackle.  I'd say more, but to go too far into what I loved about the movie would require spoiling it.  I encourage you to watch the movie if you don't mind blood and gore.

Summary:
Drive is a unique story with an unnamed character.  Tucker and Dale vs. Evil is a compilation of dozens of stories and cliches, but told in a way to make fun of them all, and yet still pay homage to the very movies it is mocking.  Honestly, it should be a hard call, but it isn't.  Tucker and Dale vs. Evil tackles something I hate, cliches.

Winner:  Tucker and Dale vs. Evil

The Stephen King Post

Photo of Stephen King's Home in Bangor, ME.

When I was one-and-a-half years old, my family had dinner with Stephen King.  The dinner happened at my grandparent's house in Eastport.  Eastport is a port city in Downeast Maine.  Though it is a port city, and has its own airport, the only reasonable way to access the city is by car.  In order to drive to Eastport, you have to drive through Pleasant Point.  Pleasant Point is a part of the Passamaquoddy reservation.  The most notable portion of this drive is a stretch of road with ocean on either side.

For reasons I'm not entirely certain, my father's side of the family was having dinner with Stephen King.  I know that my aunt was involved somehow in the reason behind this meal.  Stephen King is a wonderful philanthropist and my aunt worked for the harbor during this stretch of time.  I suspect it was a dinner following Stephen King doing one of his many charitable contributions to the State of Maine.  I don't know for certain.  What I do know is that the dinner took place at my grandparent's house.

For as long as I have known my grandmother, she has always had strange, people-hating cats.  At the time this story took place, her current cat had another particular trait; he loved to curl up in the backseat of parked cars.  You see, while Eastport is technically a city, it's only one in political structure.  The actual population of the city resembled the size of a small town under normal definitions.  There was little crime and everyone left car windows down and doors unlocked.

Stephen King came to dinner, met me and my family, and after socializing, climbed into his car to start the three hour drive drive home.  As the story goes, Stephen King driving through Pleasant Point  when my grandmother's cat, woke up, jumped into the front seat and raised a kind of hell only a person-hating cat could. The incident scared the crap out of Stephen King.  He somehow dealt with the cat, turned around, and drove all the way back to my grandparents house.  Once there, he somehow managed to wrangle the cat into his arms.  He carried it over to the front door and politely returned him to my grandparents.

The conclusion to this story came later when Stephen King's Cujo was published.  In the book, the five-year old Tad has a strikingly similar description to two-year old me.  Also the description of Donna was equally similar to my mother.  When Stephen King later published On Writing, he admitted that during this period of his life, he was in a dark place and doesn't remember where he got the idea from for this book.  In fact, he confesses only vaguely remembering writing parts of the book.  As far as I'm concerned, this cat incident was at least part of the inspiration behind his book, Cujo.